Your Moms Pants

23 Signs Your Jane Austen Addiction Is Getting Out Of Hand

OK, so maybe you’ve lost touch with reality, but who needs reality when you’ve got Mr. Darcy?

1. You’re not British, but your interior monologue has a British accent.

You're not British, but your interior monologue has a British accent.

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Columbia Pictures/ theromancecorner.wordpress.com

And at one point, another voice pops in to say, “Why the hell are you talking like this?”

2. And you find ways to slip Regency lingo into everyday conversation.

And you find ways to slip Regency lingo into everyday conversation.

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Studio Canal/ twicsy.com

Words like “incandescently,” “positively,” and “indubitably,” to the chagrin of your friends (also “chagrin”).

3. You’ve learned how to play at least some piano so that you too can be “genteel.”

You've learned how to play at least some piano so that you too can be "genteel."

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Columbia Pictures/ hookedonhouses.net

A basic rendition of “Chopsticks” is sufficient for any lady.

4. You often lament that you “should have been born in the nineteenth century.”

You often lament that you "should have been born in the nineteenth century."

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20th Century Fox/ dvdbeaver.com

Perhaps forgetting the disease, despair, and bad dental hygiene that you’d surely face if you were born into anything other than the upper-class.

5. You obsessively rewatch all of the adaptations, both modern and classic.

en.wikipedia.org

en.wikipedia.org

 

And you know which one matches which.

6. And have stood in front of the television trying to memorize their wicked complicated dances.

Studio Canal/ rosylipsandcheeks.tumblr.com

Studio Canal/ rosylipsandcheeks.tumblr.com

 

It would be easier to figure out how they always end up with a different partner if you weren’t practicing with your cat.

7. You spend hours each day thinking about how you’d decorate your sprawling English manor.

You spend hours each day thinking about how you'd decorate your sprawling English manor.

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Flickr: 53496815@N00

“Should I have swans or peacocks in the pavilion?”

8. You wish you owned hundreds of old, leatherbound books whose yellow pages crumble to dust as you turn them.

You wish you owned hundreds of old, leatherbound books whose yellow pages crumble to dust as you turn them.

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Flickr: 15877217@N00

OK, so maybe they’re too delicate to actually read, but they’d make a beautiful library.

9. You’ve browsed online for a creepy, full-length night gown.

You've browsed online for a creepy, full-length night gown.

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ebay.com

Perfect for wandering around the house in the middle of the night with a wax candle and scaring the bejeesus out of everyone.

10. You actually have an ink, quill, and wax seal set.

Flickr: 36596365@N00

Flickr: 55421902@N00

 

And write long letters…to yourself.

11. You find yourself impulse buying antique tea sets.

You find yourself impulse buying antique tea sets.

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Flickr: 55096243@N00

And you dream of the day when you can invite your friends to fancy afternoon tea and actually use the milk saucer and the sugar bowl.

12. You have tried to create an elegant updo and ended up looking like Medusa.

Studio Canal/ sweetnessitself.com

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13. You have seriously contemplated buying a bonnet.

23 Signs Your Jane Austen Addiction Is Getting Out Of Hand

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Sony Pictures Classics

Society be damned! You will not be hemmed in by arbitrary fashion rules!

14. Studying abroad=England.

Studying abroad=England.

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Columbia/ jasna.org

Where you imagine you’ll run around the moor until your true love appears.

15. You’re inordinately attracted to men in vests and/or breeches.

You're inordinately attracted to men in vests and/or breeches.

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BBC/ alanprickman.tumblr.com

Nothing quite as hot as slipping off those sexy suspender belts. You can leave your hat on.

16. Or women in high-waisted dresses and/or petticoats.

Or women in high-waisted dresses and/or petticoats.

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BBC/ myaustendreamworld.com

So much clothing, so many layers, and yet the heaving bosom is exposed.

17. Your ideal man is a wealthy, emotionally-stunted snob.

23 Signs Your Jane Austen Addiction Is Getting Out Of Hand

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BBC/ book-shish.tumblr.com

Just look at him struggling to show human feeling. SO ADORABLE.

18. Preferably one who glowers at you intently from across a room.

BBC/ alanprickman.tumblr.com

BBC/ alanprickman.tumblr.com

 

Nothing gets you going like a smoldering gaze from a floppy-haired brooder.

19. You daydream about proudly spurning the proposals of several suitors.

23 Signs Your Jane Austen Addiction Is Getting Out Of Hand

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Studio Canal

Ideally, in the rain.

20. And of being pursued by two equally gorgeous gentlemen.

And of being pursued by two equally gorgeous gentlemen.

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events.azfamily.com

One of whom turns out to be a mercenary rake.

21. This is your version of porn:

23 Signs Your Jane Austen Addiction Is Getting Out Of Hand

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Sony Pictures Classics

It may or may not have a toll on your real love life.

22. And the absolute height of romance is stiff and complicated confessions of love.

23 Signs Your Jane Austen Addiction Is Getting Out Of Hand

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Columbia/ janeausten.soup.io

Because it’s not real if it’s not long-winded.

23. You live in a beautiful fantasy world in which everyone is polite and everything always ends well.

You live in a beautiful fantasy world in which everyone is polite and everything always ends well.

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BBC/ thesecondsentence.blogspot.com

And that’s positively delightful!

Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/dianabruk/signs-youve-read-too-many-jane-austen-novels

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