Your Moms Pants

16 Foods That Really Don’t Need Foie Gras

1. Doughnuts

I’m gonna go sign this petition right now.

2. Oatmeal

Ugh, leave my breakfast alone, M. Wells.

3. Burgers

This burger is, like, not a thing you could actually put into your mouth.

4. Crème Brûlée

It looks like a dead slug. 🙁

5. Hot Dogs

Oscar Mayer would roll over in his wienermobile.

7. Poutine

It’s not like I *wouldn’t* eat this (it’s from Au Pied de Cochon), but come on. Poutine (that’s fries + cheese curds + gravy, for anyone who hasn’t caught on yet) can ALREADY KILL YOU, and it doesn’t need the help of a huge chunk of liver to kill you even more.

8. Cheesecake

Not necessary!

10. Waffles


11. Ice Cream Sundaes

Just thinking about this makes me want to cry.

12. Sushi

If you would eat something like this, we can’t be friends anymore.

13. Cupcakes

This might actually be the most obnoxious food in the world.

14. Pizza

This is a grievous affront to pizza’s inherently humble perfection.

15. Grilled Cheese

M. Wells strikes again.

16. Ice Cream Sandwiches

Humphy, Humphry, Humphry.

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